-Killing people tends to not solve problems.

-If you think that people who are happy despite all the horrors of the world are the deluded ones, you are deluded.

-If you do not see why the Beatles are better than N*Sync, you are a tool.

-All people's taste in music/art/etc., is valid. Except people with bad taste.

-Some people are talentless, worthless, assholes.

-Some people, are intelligent, talented, successful assholes.

-Smith's Invisible Hand of Capitalism is, sadly, bullshit.

-Marx's Revolution of the Working Class is, sadly, bullshit.

-Services provided by the government suck, because they have no real incentive to make said services good.

-Services provided by businesses suck, because they have no real incentive to make said services good.

-Services provided by people with whom you share a mutual love, friendship, and respect do not suck.

-If you attend a videotaping of the Jerry Springer Show, you are just as much of a loser as the people on the stage.

-There will always be cockroaches.

-There will always be racism.

-Irony is no longer ironic.

-Ironic unironicism is no longer ironic.

-Ironically unironic irony is no longer ironic.

-Popular music has been getting steadily worse since 1969.

-You can't learn everything you really need to know in kindergarten.

-No one has superpowers.

-Coincidences are just coincidences.

-You were not abducted by aliens. Elvis is dead.

-Everyone makes mistakes.

-Politicians and businessmen and even telemarketers aren't bad people.

-Politicians and businessmen and telemarketers do bad things.

-You and I do bad things.

-Politicians and businessmen and telemarketers are in a position where their bad things cause more harm than most people's bad things.

-Politicians and businessmen and telemarketers need to be more careful.

-Love is always good.

-Hate is always bad.

-I mean *always*.